Writing an Inquiry Email to a Club Coordinator about an Event

Patterns for Inquiry Emails

In this question format, you are given a situation in which you attempted to complete a task but encountered a problem along the way. The issue may involve a technical error, a system problem, or human error. You are then required to write an email to the person or department in charge.

Depending on the prompt, your email should include some or all of the following elements:

• A brief introduction that maintains appropriate formality and explains the background
• A clear description of the problem you experienced
• A request for assistance or a solution
• A request for confirmation or clarification, if necessary

In real life, inquiry emails cover a wide range of situations, and the same is true in TOEFL tasks. Topics may include anything from school admissions to hotel reservations.

Maintain Formality

The level of formality in an email depends on the context and the relationship between the sender and the recipient. In general, inquiry mail is sent to stranger to you, meaning that certain level of formality should be maintained for politeness.

For this reason, avoid using casual or colloquial expressions when writing an inquiry email. A clear, polite, and neutral tone is the safest and most appropriate choice.

Practice Question

Email Prompt

You will read some information and use the information to write an email. You will have 7 minutes to write the email.

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You recently joined a local photography club. The club plans to organize a weekend photo walk in a nearby historic district next month. The announcement describes the general plan, but it does not explain whether participants should bring specific equipment or if there will be any guidelines for the activity.

Before the event takes place, you would like to learn more about how the session will be organized.

Write an email to the admissions office. In your email, do the following:

• Mention your interest in participating in the photo walk.
• Ask what equipment or preparation participants should bring.
• Ask whether participants will be given a theme to focus on or any instructions before the walk begins.

Write as much as you can and in complete sentences.

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Your Response:
To: Club Coordinator
Subject: Question About the Upcoming Photo Walk

Model Answer

To: Club Coordinator
Subject: Question About the Upcoming Photo Walk

Dear Club Coordinator,

I recently joined the photography club and was excited to see the announcement about the photo walk planned for next month in the historic district. It sounds like a great opportunity to explore the area and meet other members.

Before the event, I was hoping to learn a bit more about how the activity will be organized. Could you let me know whether participants will be given a theme to focus on or any instructions before the walk begins? I would also appreciate knowing if there is any specific equipment participants are encouraged to bring.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to joining the event.

Best regards,
Joe

Sharing Background, Compliment, and Your Interest

When you write an email asking someone to do something for you, it’s usually better to begin with some background information and a polite compliment instead of stating your request right away.

In the model response, this appears in the first paragraph:

I recently joined the photography club and was excited to see the announcement about the photo walk planned for next month in the historic district. It sounds like a great opportunity to explore the area and meet other members.

This paragraph introduces the writer and shows appreciation for the club activity. It also expresses interest in joining the photo walk, which matches one of the task requirements.

In many TOEFL Writing Part 2 tasks, the opening paragraph can cover both the greeting/background and one of the required points. That makes it a good place to show interest in the topic.

Asking About Necessary Preparation

The second requirement is to ask what preparation is needed for the event. You can address this point with a polite question such as the following:

I would also appreciate knowing if there is any specific equipment participants are encouraged to bring.

Note that the order of the tasks given in the prompt doesn’t have to match the order in which they appear in the email. In fact, although this was the second task requirement in the list, the model email addresses it at the end, after the third one.

Because the email is formal, it is important to use polite expressions when asking for information. One useful pattern is “I would appreciate knowing whether …” Another common pattern is “I would appreciate it if you could …”

Asking About Themes, Focuses, or Instruction

Lastly, we need to address the third task requirement in the prompt. However, since this point also involves asking for information, the basic approach is similar to the one used for the second task.

The main thing to remember is to use a different expression and sentence structure so that your writing sounds more varied and natural.

In the model answer, this point is expressed as follows:

Before the event, I was hoping to learn a bit more about how the activity will be organized. Could you let me know whether participants will be given a theme to focus on or any instructions before the walk begins?

Because the theme or focus of the photo walk is closely related to the main purpose of the event, it’s natural to describe it as part of “how the activity will be organized.”

For example, if the organizer says that participants should focus on historical buildings, they would not be expected to spend the whole time photographing birds, because that would not match the main purpose of the activity.

Again, the fact that this task requirement is listed as the third point in the prompt doesn’t mean that it must appear after the first and second points in the email. In fact, the model answer addresses this point second, not third.